Sunday, 8 January 2017

Post PTIII paper - damaged.

You stayed up until it's two in the morning. Or maybe you just stayed till idk maybe three because you didn't even check the clock while revising. Then the brain couldn't have enough time for memory consolidation. You're too exhausted, the short-term memory in the hippocampus is fading. Why? Because there's no repetition. 

Try the deal - pre-read, read details and reread. 

Everything I read seems to be locked inside but when I see the questions, I have no idea what I just read a couple of days ago. Checked the notes, (mengucap panjang) syukur ada lah juga ilmu fissudur yang Allah tolong. itupun Allah tolong. 
Guessing. Its like throwing darts to target but the target is in clouds. Unbearable to be seen in naked eyes. in other words, 
You have no idea about what you're guessing about.

Then nak kerja yang melibatkan people's life? 
Gila. Cuba lah, cuba. belajar kerana ilmu.
Cuba, belajar sebab minat nak tahu.
Cuba, belajar untuk membantu. 

Berkat ke tak berkat sebenarnya benda yang kau baca? 
Banyak dosa tapi segan nak bangun malam, segan nak doa panjang-pajang. 
Padahal yang memberi cahaya ilmu itu - Dia. 
Takkan tak boleh fikir yang segala ilmu itu patut balik ke Dia juga? 
Habis tu hafal babi buta. Faham ke? Ingat ke?

Tak, ayat tak sedap. Sebab penat sangat. Sebab marah sangat. Sebab fucked up. 
Bukan sebab lain, sebab salah sendiri juga. 

Selalu. resolution yang takkan pernah terbuat sampai lah graduation. 
"taknak study last minute" 

Till now, everything at the eleventh hour. 

Tin Kosong.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

The Lies I Tell Myself

You can still be pretty without those new clothes. 
You can mix and match your dress with all the scarfs you currently have, they're overloading the "shawl box". 
You can always smile bright even if you forgot to put on your balm or lipstick. 
You can see his moves eventho you misplaced your spectacles. 
You can always be better even if you fail the quiz. 
You don't need those new colour blouse. 
You are beautiful outside and inside. 
You are going to be fine. I mean what can go wrong when you have you yourself as lover? As a hugger? As a masseur? As everything you want la. 

Those lies I tell when I needed to console myself. To remind me that I'm broke and needless to say that my crave for retail therapy and fancy food is beyond my stomach size. 

Save money la baby. Don't buy new dress. Don't look at new shades of shawl like you need it. Drink more plain water you don't need the cornetto. Eat rice till finish, no maggi-maggi anymore for your own good. No nandos kepci McD, no new liquid lipstick, no makeup hauling, no this and that. 

Thanks. Ai lebiyu. Keep on reminding yourself. 

Yours truly, 
A huge fan of retail therapy. *head massage* 💆🏻

Saturday, 15 October 2016

Mind Speaks #keberapaentah

It's real. 
When your eyes sink deep into his eyes, or his jawline, or his hair, or maybe like in my case his canine (haishh), any words he uttered flew like hummingbird sucking the honey out of your ears but you hear nothing. 

Itu ujian bhai, ujian. Tolong lah focus. 
Or suruh dia pakai niqab.