Wednesday, 19 August 2015

List to-do sebelum balik!


Salam 'alayk. Hey! :)

Allah..... Mengada sungguh kan. Cuti dah nak habis baru tergedik-gedik datang idea nak buat macam-macam. 
Tu belum lagi yang mama request untuk buat before heading back to Kuantan. Sebelum pergi De Rhu Resort untuk induction, sebelum mula bekerja untuk sambut new intake budak-budak degree, sebelum itu ini. wuwuwu.. 

OH MY GODDD.. *breathe heavily*

Whether sempat atau tidak, whether ada rezeki buat atau idak, sini. Buat check list. Hoh!

1. Tart nenas sebalang dua. Satu adunan. 


2. Coconut jelly. 

Malangnya I have to do it before my lil munchkins balik rumah for balik bermalam. I mean the two of 'em. The second and third younger sisters. One from Melaka, another one from SMKA. Kesian aku, ye aku tauuu.. 

3. Nombor rumah. Oh mai, mama sure gelakkan aku. Masa dah suntuk baru terhegeh-hegeh. Takpe, raya haji nanti insyaAllah balik. Sleeves up babes, jom bertukang! 


4. Bake a cake. One of my sister request for it. Hmm Hmmm.... We'll see. A simple butter cake won't be too fussy. kot. 


Well, empat-je-pun. Selamat memanfaatkan cuti yang berbaki ini kepada keluarga terchinta. 

Regards,
Kakak yang baik. eheh 

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Battle Ground.


Aku meniti usia yang semakin dewasa.
Pemikiranku berubah mengikut corak arus semasa.
Dulu aku mengada, tak serupa perempuan syurga.
Banyaknya dosa, pahalanya tiada jika aku kira.
Sungguh. Bukan aku pinta, tetapi Allah menetapkan segalanya.
Allah izin aku begitu, untuk aku menjadi manusia di lain masa.

Manusia lainnya mungkin menyangka aku sempurna serba semua.
Kecacatanku entah siapa mahu bertanya.
Bukan aku mahu menceritakan serba satunya.
Cukuplah kau tahu, aku cuma manusia biasa.
Imanku naik turun mengalahkan roller coaster lajunya.
Sekejap terasa iman di dada namun sekelip mata sahaja menjunam mencium tanah.

Bila terasa diri bercahaya, lantas riak, ujub, memenuhi muka.
Bagai dunia itu hanya aku yang baik sahaja.
Aku tak begitu, aku tak mungkin berbuat sedemikian rupa.
Tapi aku lupa, yang Allah mengawal kita.
Kerana pulut santan binasa, kerana mulut badan binasa.

Tajamnya lidah, tiada bertulang.
Buruknya lisan tanpa ilmu, amalan, ihsan yang bertunjang.
Oh bukan cuma lisan, tapi juga perbuatan.
Lupakah aku yang aku cuma insan?
Yang nyawanya mampu tercabut tanpa sebarang amaran.

Benarlah iman cuma senipis kulit bawang.
Benarlah iman bisa menaik bisa mengurang.
Di battle ground ini aku seorang.
Berpasak tiada, panji-panji pun hilang.

Di tikar sembahyang aku bagaikan hilang.
Hilang dalam menungku yang panjang.
Sempatkan aku untuk menyesal, sempatkan aku untuk kembali.
sebelum aku benar-benar pergi.

Jauh dalam hati, aku mahu menjadi srikandi.
Jauh di sudut qalbu, aku mahu syahid kerana agamaMu.
Jauh terselam terikat tenggelam, aku mahu lari dari masa silamku.

Dalam battle ground ini aku mempertahankan diri,
yang kadangnya rebah tak henti-henti.

I'm done. :'(

I have my own battle in my head where no one knows. No one ever know. I won couple of times, I manage to take it over, now it is weaker, pray so that I can defeat it. Forever. 

Monday, 10 August 2015

Story behind it.


Assalamu'alaykum. hoihoi. :)

How's life? Alhamdulillah, never better. 

Cuti dah nak habis, another 2 weeks to go approximately.. wuwuwu
After induction, start Taaruf program. After Taaruf, life's getting back to normal as a third year student. 

I've never imagine to enrolled myself into pharmacy school. Since I was a child, maybe 6 to 7 years old I wanted to be a doctor. I love going to hospital. I like the smell of clinic, hospital and even dental clinic though I hate going there for a check up. However, I never think or having a thought or a daydream or maybe a vision of me becoming a dentist. Maybe sebab dentist is not a quite popular ambition among children back then. Yelah, dah nama pun budak. Apa yang kawan dia nak, dia pun nak. Ingat tak borang profil murid yang catat all kita punya details macam berat, tinggi, cita-cita sepanjang kita sekolah rendah dulu? Yang every year of school guru kelas akan interview kita nak jadi apa. 
Haish polis, bomba, doktor, pensyarah, jurutera, jururawat ialah pekerjaan yang femes la dalam kalangan budak-budak. Mana ada dengar kawan-kawan nak jadi expert in actuarial science ke, perdana menteri ke, ahli politik ke, neurosurgeon or cardiologist ke. mana ada! 

Then when I was in high school, I don't know what I wanna be in future. I think I was busy thinking how to ace the exam more than having passion towards achieving ambition. Exam Oriented. 
But deep inside, I still think that "Okay, the pathway after SPM is to get myself into a medical school, do my best and work on what you love. Now, just rebus the notes and drink it. pfft." 

Habis SPM, melompat-lompat habis sekolah. Oh, belum habis paper lagi dah panjat tangki sekolah. Tangki belakang rumah bonda, pengetua. Pagi-pagi lagi mandi pun belum, sarung sweater "WE class of 2011", sneaked into the area. Panjat pagar, naik tangga, sampai atas tangki.. perempuan apa ni! haha 
The climb was hard, gayat. But the breath taking view can only be treasured when you reach the top compared to cherished it halfway.

I took my driving lesson in Melaka. I stayed with my aunt's family and my uncle is a radiologist. 3 months I've been there. They took me wherever they went. Dinner, wedding, short meeting.. So I met some doctors, pharmacist, surgeon and other experts in medical field.   
This time, I know what I wanted to be. 

If people asked me why during that time, I would answer like this. 
Medicine took me 5 years of study, short of holidays, sleepless night, busy day. On call post call. More than 24 hours of work with fully-working standby mode in case of emergency. High risk, high insurance. Bla, bla, bla..

Ok itu masa otak belum cukup mature. Now I know it. Semua yang kerja akan busy, semua yang kerja akan menanggung risiko, semua yang kerja akan dipersoalkan amanahnya, semua yang kerja akan sama melainkan mereka yang berniat bahawa kerjayanya adalah satu ibadah.
woo what a neutral stand. hiks :')

Now that I'm in a pharmacy school, and pharmacist in hospital pun ada "on call" especially masa PRP yang seniors cakap takdak life tu; I undestood how life's gonna be. Dan apa yang penting?

Redho, move on and ace it. 

Before you think of giving up, remember why you started. 

Regards,
3rd Year Rx12. 




  

Wednesday, 5 August 2015

I just nagged.


Assalamu'alaykum :)

Hey. (lambai-lambai)..

Kau tahu, aku bukannya dari dulu mahu cerita apa yang berlaku. Dari kecik dulu, I felt like i'm living under a crystal globe that only involve me and my family and friends. No interruption from the internet, no cellphones, not even a radio.

My dad used to ask us with questions in the car when we were heading off somewhere or when he reached home from work. Soalan macam "Aimi, apa perkara baik yang Aimi dah buat hari ni?". Then to my sister, "Adik, hari ni adik dah buat apa untuk mama ayah?"
Yeah, cuma kami berdua masa itu. Kakak, adik. Yang lain masih di alam lain :). So when we're asked with Dad's questions, it took a while to figure out what have you done thru out the day. It was harder to think whether the actions done were good or bad or could've been worse. We were 4-8 years old children back then. dasyat punya question. Adik aku tu pun macam ter'mumaiyiz' lebih cepat dari budak lain. haha
And the questions were asked like 5-6 times a week. It made us to think before doing anything.
Yes, as a child, we do made tons of silly mistakes.

Nowadays, we are growing even more. Since we have newer siblings, the way of Dad-daughters approaches differ than previous. The older pairs of sisters need to look after the younger pairs. Parents were getting older and wiser. Ayah no longer asked us like that. The older pairs which is the 1st and 2nd born went to boarding school, leaving the younger siblings. When the last one was born, we finally having a brother. My parents approaches to son are definitely different from to daughters. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus, remember?

Technology were invading the world, leading to vast globalization.

It is good. Somewhat it brings benefits and ease. However, everything that comes from man will always have the ugly side instead of the beauty. Macam sekarang, kids are more concerning about their social media rather than to talk with family members. Sigh*

I'm assuming them as kids because a real mature adult do not neglect the others' rights

They feel that they should get up to date to every trend set by whoever in this world are. Dubsmash, sampai yang lelaki pakai macam perempuan, yang perempuan tergedik-gedik. I don't mind if you're doing it moderately, tak perlu kot semata-mata it's trending, kau bermati-matian nak ikut. Like if tak buat even one Dubsmash, you are lame. Sini nak cakap, NO ONE with normal functioning brain and having emotional intelligence will judge you like that. To those yang suka judge people "lame" or "out of date" because they're not following the trend, I think that you might have a slight wayar putus in your head. Get over yourself. :)

If technology can develop real quick, why not you?
Jangan jadi hamba kepada media sosial.

Monday, 3 August 2015

Little and Travelling. Alone.


Assalamu'alaykum fellas. :0 

I used to travel across counties all by myself. It was since years ago when I was being apart from home to study in PJ. 
Actually I started to make an independent move (but not so independent cause I got company) in travel when I have to enrolled in a boarding school located more than a hundred and fifty kilometers from my hometown. I took the fast train from KL Sentral originally - boarding at Rawang station to Batu Gajah station. For nearly 2 years. Form 4 and Form 5. 

So when I got myself registered for foundation studies in PJ, I make myself a lot more independent than before. The route to go back home, what bus should I catch to go to KL Sentral or Midvalley, what train should I board from where-to-where, how much money should I spare (not in wallet but inside jeans pocket), how many bags do I need, what to wear, what to bring, what to expect and also what to gamble. hiks. 

too much to figure out I guess. 

Now that I'm in Pahang, even tho Pahang is right beside Perak in the map, Subhanallah the journey to Pahang takes almost 8 to 9 hours by bus! 
Syukur that I always take the night journey, so that most of the time I'll be soundly sleeping. 
And how I wish Pahang has a train. If it's not a fast bullet train like those in Japan or Korea, a moderate speed train also can lah. because bus is too slow. 




So I made a list on what I should or shouldn't when I travel. 

1. What to wear?
Pants. a comfortable one. Any kind of tops that cover up and suit the climate - not to cool you more in a cold temperature and not to warm you up in a hot sweaty environment. Avoid skirts or jubah or baju kurung. If anything happen (nauzubillah), how do you gonna run? or maybe kick some ass? 
And plus, wear a comfortable shoes. I like pumps or sneakers. Please don't wear those wedges or platforms or your stilettos while travelling. Style hurts. 

2. What to bring?
I like the idea of "Travelling like a Backpackers". Few stuffs and go. 
I put my handbag inside my luggage if I have to travel more than 3 days, if not, a backpack and a luggage are more than enough. The rule is NO MORE THAN 2 BAGS AT HAND. Don't show off your gorgeous HB to potentially harmful people you never know who.

3. What to expect?
A delay. An accident. A forgetful/careless moment. Somebody's mistake and you're the one to suffer the rest. Don't panic, your brain needs you. Breathe, and THINK!

4. Money and precious. 
Spare yourself with no more than MYR150. A note of RM50 in wallet like usual, a folded one and another folded note in your pocket. 
I always put my cellphone in my front pocket (make sure the pocket has no holes, deep enough and always always always double check). 
Travelling with so much money brings so much burden to the mind and soul. Risau sana sini. Let the risk go. 

5. Strangers. 
Be kind to others but be aware, be alert, don't trust anyone. Travelling alone is dangerous, even a hadith said that. But if you got no other choice but to travel alone, remember not to travel in ease. Expect the worse. Remind yourself to recite Ayatul Kursiyy along the journey. 

6. To gamble. 
Buying ticket on the spot is one of a gamble. Kalau takde tiket, mau nye nangis kat situ xdapat balik. Gila. Aku pernah kot. I told my mum I couldn't make my way home on first Ramadhan (ni tahun 2012). At 3 in the morning my mum called me and said "Ayah on the way. Tau lah ayah kamu, bukan boleh dengar anak dara dia riau. Get ready, nanti ayah sampai." 
*riau = teriyak = nangis = cry 

Whatever it is, be prepared. Don't gamble if you're a girl. Not safe at all. Especially if you're a Daddy's girl. 

So basically these are what usually hanging in my mind when I have to travel alone. till then, ilal liqa'.